Day 27 – Thank you Shishapangma
... for exposing my inner self to me.
It has been a lonely journey requiring an inner strength and a level of self motivation that I did not know I possessed. Those nights up on the “hill” with the wind blowing and snow icicles searing the surface. Those endless steps uphill. The feeling of lack of control wondering where the energy would come from to lift my leg, boot, foot one more time. The apprehension while trying to launch oneself over the crevasses. The waiting for the immanent collapse of the ground beneath one's feet. The endless waiting out the bad weather at ABC – orange madness. The 2:00am Jetboil sessions heating up water-bottles with constant spindrift falling in the tent. The endless planning to stimulate action and to help motivate myself. The loneliness of not being able to communicate with anyone. That slog up to Camp II – I still don't know how I managed those 13 or so steps at a time. In retrospect that was my summit push. I was mighty proud to get up there.
I had (other) reasons in 2006 & 2007 why I did not summit. This year it was only because of me. I am not strong enough to climb, carry loads and the establish the required camps to climb an 8,000m peak on my own. It was one of my main tests to see if I could do just that. I had not though factored in the loneliness. Although I'm fairly independent, this was a level of “independence” that I had not yet experienced in my life.
I just wanted to experience that thrill (feeling) of standing above 8,000m knowing I had got there on my own – that would probably have last 30 seconds – to put that into perspective its now day 27 and I have only achieved camps to half way!
I have though learned an amazing amount about myself and I thank Claire, my Precious, for allowing me the indulgence. Its the end of these significant “solo/unsupported” mountain expeditions for me. I now have the answers to my questions.
I hope to be able to use what I've learnt above the Tibetan plains to help others - whatever their need.
This blog will from now only be updated with a few of the missing days photos but will remain an insight and record of my endeavours.
Thank you all for your support along the way.
Thank you to all those who have contributed to The Rainbow Trust – as promised for each £50 donated, I will offer my time to them for anything they may want me to do. I'm hoping some T-shirts I have ordered for them to raise more funds will be ready on my return to Kathmandu.
Thank you Claire, I'll be home soonish (pending, yaks, strikes, landslides etc). I look forward to hearing what you have planned for us together.
All the very best
Hoseman & Gromit